Men Who Chatt

Apply to join the circle

You found your way here for a reason. We’re a brotherhood of men who meet to be heard and to show up for one another. Tell us who you are and what you’re looking for — a man from the circle will read it and reach out to you directly. There’s no rush and no wrong reason to reach out.

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Why are you interested in this men’s group?

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Before you apply

Our Ground Rules

Before joining, every man agrees to these. They are not policies — they are how we keep the work safe for each other.

01ConfidentialityWhat is said in the circle of a personal nature stays here. No man can disclose the intimate details of another man's experience outside of the circle.
02SobrietyWhen you arrive to circle you are doing so completely free from any mind-altering substances (alcohol, THC, Delta 8, medications not prescribed to you, etc.). We commit to the entire day prior to circle to remain free from any of the aforementioned substances.
03Be Open ("Try On")Be open to information. Listen carefully to it. We're not asking you to accept everything you hear — just take it in.
04No Blame or ShameNo discounting of other men's experiences. How can I shame or blame myself or you for attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs supported systemically over long periods of time by cultures and institutional structures?
05We Can Agree to DisagreeIt is OK to see and hold a difference in our thoughts and beliefs. Hold differences gracefully. Don't be afraid of conflict — it is a necessary and acceptable part of the learning process. Conflict doesn't have to stop dialogue.
06No Fixing MenMen naturally want to solve one another's challenges and issues. True action and responsibility come when a man can realize his own solutions and take ownership toward remedying them.
07Self-Focus ("I-Statements")Focus on what's going on with you. Use "I-statements" not You/We/They. This is particularly important in multicultural discussions, as it is easy for people to speak of "those people" and make judgments about others.
08Honor the SpeakerFocus on who is speaking. Do not interrupt. Try not to plan what you want to say before you really HEAR what the speaker is sharing. This is the art of true listening.
09Watch for Intention vs. ImpactOften, my words create impacts that were unintended, especially in cross-cultural interactions. Becoming aware of my unintended impacts is a great way to become aware of my blind spots.
10Do the WorkWhen you join this circle, you commit to changing the behaviors and actions that no longer serve you. You will be challenged to play an active role in improving your life circumstances instead of playing a supporting role in someone else's life.

I have read all 10 ground rules and commit to living by them.

I understand this group is not a substitute for professional mental health services. I am 18 or older and I identify as a man. This group is welcoming to all regardless of race/ethnicity, ability, socioeconomic status, age, religion, or sexual orientation.Anything said or done in this group is confidential. I commit to NOT recording any meeting. (Facilitators are not bound by confidentiality in the case of suicidal ideation or intent to harm self or others.)

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